Wine from Orange Juice??

One day, after meditating, I was struck by a certain “truth” that seem inescapable:  Ego’s health makes or breaks my opinion of myself.  Further, my opinion of myself is either something I know intuitively about myself (healthy view) or is influenced by outside sources (imbalanced view). After conducting a bit of research online and in various texts, I have come to believe that one’s sense of self lies on a continuum, where healthy self-respect and inner self knowing can slowly erode toward self-insecurity and  vulnerability, eventually, if left unchecked will evolve into a self-absorbed, abusive condition that is fully suspicious of, yet dependent upon others and outside influences.

I've had a few recent experiences in which I  was witness to this phenomenon.

Wayne Dyer explains it this way: You can only give others what you have inside of yourself.  Therefore, to give love away to others, you must cultivate love for yourself FIRST. Dyer uses the metaphor of  squeezing an orange – asking you what comes out when you squeeze it. Most people answer, “orange juice” comes out. Why? Because that is what is inside. When humans are squeezed, what comes out of them is what they harbor inside of themselves. Harbor love, acceptance, joy, confidence, peace and harmony towards yourself so that you can radiate it towards others. You can only extend to another that which you are in truth.

And then, while in mediation, I realized the truth about light.  The speed of light, actually.  In physics, the speed of light is expressed as c  and is valued at 299,792,458 meters per second, precisely.  It is, essentially, the fasted element known to humans and is considered instantaneous.  Matter slows down the speed of light.

And in Neil Donald Walsh’s children’s book, Little Soul, he explains that light is all that we are.  Ok; bear with me now.  This is a spiritual concept.  But I think it has some merit.  I recently saw a documentary where a very hot and sexy English guy was traveling the US to find out what made us American and he was talking about religion and he said basically that if you think about it, cultures were formed separated from one another, with vast distances between each other.  They developed on their own, in their own way, but remarkably they all have similar tenets and basic fundamental ideologies.  So, we must have come from one thing… but distance made us think we were different or separate.

In Little Soul, one soul wants to practice forgiveness and another friendly soul steps forward to come into their next life to do “something” that would require forgiveness.  The friendly soul explains that in order to do this “not so nice thing” it would have to become dense and dark and slow down it’s light energy in order to perform such a heinous task.  Hmmmm…. Light, dense, darkness….

I think that everyone on this planet was given a ’friendly angel’ to come into their life and help them learn a lesson.  Maybe a few.

I know that mine has been one of jealous and fear of losing something dear to me.  Until I realize, on a very spiritual level that there is only one thing and that thing is me, and that thing is this idea of “God” acting through me, I won’t really be free from the constraints of humanity.  And this is ok with me, for the most part.  Because, right here and now, as a human, I get to be a mother of a wonderful child.  I am friends with amazing people.  I have the most spectacular family members.  I have been blessed with great love.  I have traveled and I have been challenged.  As an angel, what is there for me but chess while you await your next assignment?  Haaha

I have had a lot of people make me the butt of their jokes, use me to prop themselves up, walk over me, violate me for their own satisfaction, treat me as though I did not matter… but in the end, they could not take away from me what I truly know as my very own spiritual truth: I am that I AM.   Dude!  I am here!  Nothing can change that fact.  And while I am here, I might as well seek to find a way to enjoy it as much as possible.

Shallow relationships mean nothing to me.  Material possessions?  HA!  Status?  I don‘t think so.    But talk to me, look me in the eye, tell me your biggest fears and share with me what you believe to be the truth of who you are and now we are talking.  I seek not your approval but your soul.  It’s like the orange… I am not squeezing you hoping to get wine.  (although I do like red wine a lot) I am squeezing you to find out what you are made of.  I am interested in what comes out of you.  Not what you want to take from me.  Jealousy no longer has a power over me because I realize that there is nothing anyone can take from me that I am not willing to part with, and quite simply, there really isn’t much to me, expect light.  I dare you try and steal that.