I have had situations where I regretted what I said or did. I, even most recently, have had my "late night blog posts" where I regretted posting what I posted the morning after. My brother, with whom I seek the utmost respect and approval, has often expressed disapproval for my blog because he feels that personal emotions and feelings should not necessarily be placed out "there" for the total public to read, debate and discuss. He thinks it's not really my "right to share" this information with the general public because they may find it offending.
I can see his point of view. But then, my addiction for blogging takes over. There is something magical for me when writing.... I feel totally connected and alive. I feel whole and unique. And I like that.
In general, I am happy blogging. It serves some kind of need within my soul, whether it be connection internally or a connection to my higher source. Blogging seems to feed some need I have to validate my own experiences.
So, recently I was in a class for Self Mastery. As a group we were tasked with surrounding one another and giving each other "love bombs" of compliments.
As I let go and fell into the experience, my classmates seemed to become enchanted and began softly whispering various compliments. They said things like, “you are beautiful, you are an awesome mother, you are sexy and strong, I like your hair, your smile, your eyes, you seem intelligent, practical, etc…”
At first, it was very uncomfortable. In fact, I had a physical reaction where I began experiencing a throbbing sensation in my neck. Then, I noticed that my shoulders sort of curled forward all on their own and my hands were shoved into my pockets. I felt nauseous. I had a physical reaction to their comments. I felt like I was twelve years old.
In a recent relationship class, we were asked to bring a picture of ourselves as children to share. This simple activity opened up a new insight for me in terms of how I see others and more importantly how I see myself. We are all still those cute, innocent, perfectly content children in the pictures of our past. Yet, we all too often forget this when we behave like children as adults.
I've been in other situations in my life where, let's say, someone else has experienced some kind of totally embarrassing situation. Instead of finding fault with that person, or taking advantage of their vulnerability, I often feel tremendous compassion and empathy for them. I don't know if they can sense it. I do it anyway.
The truth is that we are all beautiful, innocent, smart, sexy, talented, inspiring, loyal and necessary. Without this truth, we’d be nothing more than the dust and rocks that scatter the Earth. We are, after all, human beings as Infinite Spirit incarnate. We really are as pure in heart as a two year old but we forget it. The Indigo Girls have this one song in which they say (and I am paraphrasing) "we are sculpted from youth, the chipping away makes me weary".
We put limits, rules, judgements and expectations on things that need no embellishment. Only openness and acceptance.
And that is when I realize that the idea of ‘right to share’ has little to do with actual validity, but more with ego’s limitation of who one thinks they may be. Ego can limit when there is nothing for which to limit. I am not saying my brother has an ego problem for which he is limited in his mind and spirit. I am saying, that for me, personally, sharing my gift, which is me, unabashedly here is all that I have.
I am therefore, so grateful for the understanding that I am more than what my ego has defined me to be. I realize I take on certain risks with this affirmation, but, quite frankly, I am open to the Universal Law of YES! Just as an innocent child says YES! to pretty much everything, I am willing to say YES to life as I experience it.
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