One Year Anniversary...

Happy Anniversary to me!  And what a special occasion this represents for me: a relationship with me!  For the first time in my life I can honestly say without looking down at the ground and shrugging my shoulders that I love myself!  I believe I am worthy of the love I desire!  Nothing and no one is against me; yet rather, the whole Universe is here for me to express and experience the mysterious gifts of Infinite Spirit (or God, Buddha, Earth Mother, or whomever you want to relate to...)

So, this last year, in my relationship with myself I've gleaned a few pieces of wisdom that I will carry forward with me... eh-he, now I'd like to share some of my thoughts with you and the method behind my madness.... I am not sure if many of you realize just how this post gets written?  It is, I confess, quite unabashedly, from a concoction of good music and cheap libations.  Often inspired by some random off-put experience throughout the week that summons a memory from my crazy life. 

Here is a starter: In the words of the great Bobbie Ferrin, "Don't worry, be happy".  And, from the Master, Michael Franti, "Everybody deserves love".  Both James Blunt and Nelly Furtado said, "You're Beautiful" and I agreed, finally.  And from Des'ree, "You gotta be bad, bold you gotta be wiser... all I know is love will save the day".

In the last year I created a home, grew a community of friends, gotten a raise and promotion at work, released a whole shit-load of my old stories that were doing nothing more than weighing me down and holding me back, attended weekly counseling, attended monthly personal development classes, improved and mended damaged relationships, maintained a healthy weight and more importantly a healthy body image, and continued to raise a pretty darn cool kid. 

I find myself asking difficult questions at times, like "was it all worth it?" or "would I go back if he changed?"  And to tell you the truth, I think I am pretty happy how things have worked themselves out.  I believe that, should I enter into another relationship, this time I honestly feel like my boundaries will become more relevant messages in daily conversation.  Not because I am selfish, but because I am worth it. 

Ziggy is a tremendous gauge for me on whether or not we did the right thing.  Maybe we could have done it differently, but the end result has done nothing but good for that little boy.  The fighting and the sadness was working on his poor little heart.  And at such and early age to have that kind of trauma!  Poor little dude.  Now, however, he is rather content and certainly adjusted to the changes.  He is, in fact, quite normal.  What a blessing. 

As I move into this next 7 year cycle of my life I am sort of deliberately focusing on some of my goals and wants and things I'd like to manifest.  The last 15 years I never really consciously focused on much of what I was doing with my life.  I think, however, the next 7 -1 5 will be very different for me.  Who knows what's in store for me?  Love?  Fame?  Financial Freedom?  All of it?  Let it so be! 

Just a quick shout-out to EVERYONE who helped me survive the last year.  You know who you are.  Much love and giggles I send your way!