Prompts

I took a class a few months back, (ok, the guy had bad hair, but he has good ideas) in which he speaks of "prompts" as one tool used to change behaviors. The theory is based on psychological evidence which show that prompts repeated over and over for a certain period of time, help people change their behavior. As an environmental educator and policy maker for over 15 years, I've often struggled with how to actually enact a change in behavior in people that I am educating.

It's not easy. Take recycling for example. It's a rather accepted social behavior success story. They established a need, they provided a tool for citizens to utilize and then they profited by the success of the invention. For instance, a study conducted in 2007, shows that 3/4 of US residents Do recycle, but that does leave 1/4 who Do not. More than 25% of US Americans DO NOT participate, in some way to the recycling process in any means definable, such as: recycling, observance of simple marketing campaigns, requesting a change in service and most importantly, initiating a change in behavior; i.e. recycling everywhere and anywhere possible.

It's a widely held belief that recycling is one of social behavior modification programs which is fairly successful.  Yet, prompts only work to a certain extent in changing behaviors.  That is why social marketing uses many other tools, such as peer pressure, targeted multimedia campaigns, among others.

So, to focus on me (because, after all, it is all about me) I was noticing, that after having moved into my home recently, that I am always reaching for the light switch and I find it's not where I reach. It's on the opposite side of the doorway. And, I was caught by the idea that each time I reached for a light switch, it was, essentially, a "prompt". One thing that became apparent to me quite immediately, is that I am essentially re-training myself to find the light switch. And, I admit, that I become irate when I reach for it and it isn't there. Especially when I am rushed. Hmmmm......Is there a metaphor here??

As I move from room to room, what I notice is a almost unconscious reaction to reach for a certain direction and/or position for the light switch. I find this particularly interesting because I am in such a period of self reflection right now and wanting to change certain learned behaviors. I haven't spent much effort on "prompting" myself in this endeavor and it made me think, that just as it will take time and repetition to change my behavior to adapt to my new environment, it will take time and repetition to change myself.

I remember arguing with my ex about where to place the light switch for the bathroom in our old place based on visitor comfort and his need/opinion. In the end, we settled with a solution that made little sense to the user of the bathroom, but that made perfect sense to the "man" installing the electricity. And every time I would turn on the switch I'd think of that argument. Weird, huh?

Now, in my new home, when I reach for the light switch and find it's on the other side, I often think of how sad I am to be alone, in a different home; I remember the arguments and I remember the darn light switch in my old house. Funny how the subconscious tenaciously holds onto those sad memories.

Ah, but there is one marvelous aspect to this whole thing: you! Or me, or I, me, myself, you, yourself....the fact that we are our own minds, hearts, spirits and individual selves means we have a choice in how we react. Or better, yet, how we respond. I can chose not to think of the sad memories! I can chose to say a little prayer and count my blessings each time I can't find that darn switch. And it can be done in so many other ways...not just the light switches, but the person who cuts you off while driving, the parking space you didn't get, the broken finger nail, the stubbed toe, the bill that you forgot to pay, the fee that you owe, the friend who didn't call, the boss who was brusque.....They are all 'prompts' and they are offering you a choice. Aren't they so friendly and kind?

When I find myself reacting I am going to try and remember to respond. A conditioned response is so much more graceful and poised. Sure, I won't catch myself every time. It's not about perfection. It's the journey towards perfection that makes life worth living.

Maybe, I can use my new home environment as an experiment in a way to teach myself to speak kindly every time I reach for the wrong side of the doorway; maybe I can use it as a reminder of what is good in my life, versus focusing on what I sense that I lack.  I've been so blessed in this life. Even with the loss and the trauma, I've discovered diamonds in the rough stuff of life. I've rediscovered the beauty not only in myself, but also in the dark corners of unknown territories; as I get close to those places, the view opens up, the light shines bright and I see that things are not as scary as I had first presumed.