I am sorry

  

It seems the holiday season brings out the best (and worst) in all of us.  I recently spent 6 hours in a car driving from Norcal to Socal and instead of road rage and listening to awful Christmas music, I spent about 3 of the hours forgiving.  Forgiving both myself and others who I've really not let go of for days, months, perhaps decades.  It was one of the most freeing experiences of my life.  I basically followed a short recipe:

I forgive you for ___________________________________________ because I know you didn't realize what affect it had on me.  I release __________________________________ (my fear of unworthiness, my fear of wrong-doing, my fear of not being worthy of love, etc...).  I release ______________________________ (my need to control the outcome, need to put up a facade of "worthiness", put up a facade of "perfection", etc...).   Because I know that I am perfect, whole and at peace right where I am in my connection to the Infinite Spirit.

And you know, it worked.  It really was quite powerful.   I invite you to try your own meditation of release and see what happens.

When we release our binds to the past a whole new world opens up to us.

Finally, I'd like to close this post with a few "forgive you's". 

I forgive the guy who for with whom I thought the date went well and yet he did not call me back
I forgive the woman who drove on Ocean today as if she owned the road
I forgive myself for not being enough
I forgive myself for thinking that I am not enough, when clearly I am all I ever need
I forgive friends and family who did not send me a Christmas card even though I sent them one
I forgive my mother
I forgive my mean friends in school who made fun of me
I forgive my friend's child for hitting my son
I forgive my father
I forgive the guy in college
I forgive the court and the mediator
I forgive my appearance, for even though I've been good about what I eat and exercising more, I still don't like the way my body looks in the mirror
I forgive myself for riding in the car more when it's cold when I know perfectly well I could ride my bike
I forgive my ex for being violent and then asserting that he never was
I forgive my ex's mother for creating drama
I forgive my ex's sisters for they know not what they do
I forgive Ziggy for his tantrums, even the ones at the store
I forgive Newt Gingrinch for being such an ass, even though he should really know better
I forgive the US economy for sending almost all of the jobs overseas

I know that where I am right now has nothing to do with those interactions.  I know that where I am right now is perfect.  I am at peace.  Everything that happened, already happened and I don't need to carry it around with my anymore.  I can drop all those stories and be free.

See, when you release these things.  You let them go.  They literally go away.  Yes.  It's kind of scary to let go of your 'story' because without, who might you be?  But I assure you, the levity that occurs far outweighs the doubt that may linger.  Fears, doubts, and insecurities no longer define who you are.  They no longer control the outcome of your day.  They no longer have power over who you ARE.  These are just thoughts.  They are just reactions to what is.  But what is really is what is inside of you.  You are not what happens in your life just as you are not what someone else says that you are.  You are YOU.  You are beaYOUtiful just are you are.  Know that and embrace that.

Peace.