So, Am I creating this, or is it really happening??

Perfect question for Science of Mind newbie. What is the answer? Well, I don’t know and I’ve asked a lot of my fellow SOM practitioners and yet I know what the response will be…. Hmmm…..perplexing.

So, instinctively, I’d jump to say that, well,  I may need to meditate on this thought a while longer until the truth emerges, I don’t have that kind of time. Nor do you.  Let's get on with it!!!

The SOM philosophy will say that your thoughts create your reality. But what if, you are not really thinking a thought, but rather, really surmising the reaction of a situation? What if someone says or does something for which you are simply attempting to define? What if that which they say is nothing more than a tactic to get a rise out of you?

Well, then, diving deeper, I guess I’d have to admit that we are all no more than mirrors to oneself and if someone said or did something that made you feel a certain way, then there is a huge chance that it is actually less about them and more about you.

So, let’s say for instance, that I feel I am in competition with someone, not because I particularly love to compete (because, honestly I do not) but because I feel a sense of pressure to “perform” from them. Well, if I don’t really like to compete, then where is the pressure to perform coming from?

Me! So, I am, in short, creating the need to compete because what this person says or does makes me feel somehow inferior, less than, in need of proving my worth.

If I go back to the principles of SOM, I will remember (ah! Remembering who I AM) that I am actually pretty darn okay without anyone else’s opinion of me. I am whole, perfect and complete, just as I AM.

So, why do I feel the pressure to perform? Why do I suddenly feel less sure of myself? What did they do or say to knock me off balance? And furthermore, more importantly, why did it affect me so much?

Maybe it has a lot to do with our own need to feel validated and loved? Perhaps we had some kind of unfulfilled need as a child that continues to rear it’s jealous head when someone (acting from their own child’s truth) says or does something that catches us off guard and reminds us of our pain. We try so darn hard to forget the pain. But it is always there. It is actually part of who we are, as this whole, perfect and complete person. Pain does not signify less than perfect. It actually only represents awareness of the truth of who we are.

I mean, if you are anything like me, you are seriously trying to stuff all of that childhood trauma, rejection, abandonment and dysfunction that was so real and present in probably, what, come on, realistically, 99.5% of all of our childhood experiences???

The more I share my winnings and losing’s with my SOM community, I find that I am actually somewhere right in the middle of all of the goodness and the shit. We are all pretty much going through the same darn terrifyingly, annoyingly obvious fact of living as a human beings.

I jokingly told my SOM teacher that I strived to become a Practitioner of SOM mostly because I saw her and the Practitioners as somehow living in this land of Milk and Honey and I so wanted to be there, minus my pain and suffering. Somehow, I wanted to be let into the Club!!!  She laughed, obviously. 

It doesn’t make it easier to say, “well, I guess those that suffer are at least as bad off as me, so therefore I am okay with that”. It makes me sort of melancholy that we all have to suffer so much.

 I know, I know, the Dalai Lama would tell us that we don’t need to suffer; that, in fact, it is our choice to suffer as we do. But, honestly, how many of us will achieve the enlightenment of his Holiness in our lifetime?

We have jobs, and children and bosses who don’t appreciate us, and crazy drivers, and grocery clerks, and thoughts of Armageddon! It’s all freaking’ crazy to think that we could actually be Zen about life when all of this shit is happening!!!!

And yet, science is increasingly pointing towards meditation as a tool for recouping some of our societal ills. Scientists have discovered that meditation can actually help one shift brain waves from the stress-prone right frontal cortex and move them to the calmer left frontal cortex where more stress reduction, more enlighten and more calm self-reflection can occur.

New iPod apps can actually help you with reminders on a daily, even minute to minute basis to stop, breathe, think positive thoughts and smile.

As we, as a society, grow increasingly taxed in our lives, technology may be one tool to help us remain somewhat civil and aware of our tendencies towards utter social distortion. But, we cannot rely on technology to save us. Real, truthful and authentic relationships will be, in the end, my humble opinion, that which saves humanity.

As a blogger, I realize how paradoxical this sounds. But the truth is, that no matter how many words I pour onto this digital paper, the end result is dependent upon the quantity of connections I’ve made. Real or digital, we are all really only just one click away from being totally alone. And that makes competition seem all the more selfish and vulnerable. Those who chose to perpetuate competition for a means of validating their own self worth will soon someday realize that it’s not about the win but about the game (of life) and how it’s played.