Sweaty Bicycle Mama

I commute most places via bicycle.  I have a child seat on back, where my 3.75 year-old son rides co-pilot, snacking on dried fruit and juice.  In front, there is a huge basket,which is often heavy-laden with bags and totes filled with daily necessities.  Many days, I arrive at meetings, to work, or special events and even social gatherings sweaty and worn out yet proud.  My makeup is melting.  My panties are all bunched up.  I can barely exit my bike without toppling over.  It is in this moment that I quietly summon courage and strength to smile graciously. 

I’ve seen the fairly put-together; high-maintenance women stare at me in wonder.  I’ve seen the well-groomed and playful metro-sexual men raise an eyebrow then casually make steadfast to the previously-mentioned put-together woman standing attactively across the way.  Some people respect it.  Some people are envious.  Some people are curious.  Some people simply don’t get me.  And yet, I wonder.  How does a professional, educated, self-aware single-mother in her late 30’s continue to ride a bicycle like she’s a teenager riding home from soccer practice?    

And the truth is that I don’t know why I do it.  I could choose to drive my car instead.  It’s comfortable, convenient, efficient and considerably more professional.  I could try and be more organized; for example, pack my make-up, clean clothes and heels to change into later.  But I don’t. I am often late and frankly I am disinterested in being “organized”.

Recently, a man commented on my appearance in general, saying, that, when I put effort into how I look, I look good.  Otherwise, he said, I am sort of plain and unappealing.  He’s obviously been crossed the list of “possible suitors” and yet, he has something for which makes me ponder.  How much of whom I am is embedded in what I look like?  How much of whom I am rests on my outward appearance? Part of me indignantly barks out that it shouldn’t matter what I look like in any moment.  My old favorite quote was “to know me is to love me”. But, with age, and as I spend more of my life single than coupled, I start to wonder; maybe I should re-think this indignant stance on beauty.  What is beauty?  The old saying, beauty is more than skin deep makes me think of the story of The Ugly Duckling or Shrek.  Aristotle said beauty is a gift from God and I think Ernest Holmes would agree.  Beauty is a “God Quality” that we, in Science of Mind, attest is something inherent in our very being.    

So, being put-together and pretty in appearance is one aspect of beauty for sure.  Being pure in heart and completely authentic in oneself is equally as beautiful. Being both is extraordinarily competent and impressive.  Being okay with yourself, just as you are, and being surrounded by others who accept you unconditionally, is exactly where I want to be.