In the Castle

So I've been reading this book, "Entering the Castle" by Caroline Myss.  It's essentially about finding your inner path to God and your Soul's purpose.  She refers to it as "contemporary mysticism."   It's pretty heavy.  Maybe the majority of my followers (what? a whole 10 or so people out there) like to talk spirituality but don't necessarily want to live spirituality.  I wasn't quite sure I wanted to either; and when I got into the book further and combined with rich class discussions, I stated to wish I hadn't opened this can of worms.

You see, for me, at least, when I do the "work" as Byron Katie calls it, my life always seems to fall apart.  Then, between classes, there is a brief respite of calmness, centeredness, synchronicity and then as soon as I start a new one, boom!  the entire world starts exploding all over again. 

Have you ever experienced that in your own life?  I'd be curious to hear.

As far as I had always thought, mystics were these weird, social outcasts that holed up in monasteries or other holy places to connect with God; yet rarely were able to connect with regular human beings.  She is offering a way to be a contemporary mystic, where you can live in this world and still retain a fierce connection to God-like principles.  Seems a little unattainable to me at first glance.

And I think back on my life and I realize that I've never had a plan.  I've not had a lot of guidance.  I've been left to "figure it out" all alone.  I want to beat myself up for being almost 40 and not yet "achieved the greatness" that I thought I'd have achieved by this point.  And when I think about everything I've done, I become a little exhausted; most especially when I think of what yet I have left to do.  Caroline says that it's at this point you can, "let your soul have at it.  Get your mind out of your soul's way."

When you finally choose to "enter the Castle" as she likes to use as a metaphor for her specific set of exercises and meditations; your have a hightened sense of awareness, indicating the "divine has entered your Castle."   And then, from personal experience, watch out!

For instance, "the Divine may manifest in your life in a series of challenges meant to wake you up from thinking that you control your world and everyone in it.  Or perhaps God send you something to endure that seems to have no purpose, no meaning, and is, at least from your perspective, completely undeserved.  You will ask yourself, "Why me? What have I done to deserve this? Why do I have to endure this? What is the reason?"  This mystery may make you struggle to explain what you perceive as an injustice until you accept what God has chose for you."

Aha!  I always knew that sneaky critter called God was up to no good in my life!!  I knew he was out to get me from day one!  Here is proof!  {so says the Ego mind....}

One of the first things that comes to my mind is that in order for humans to explain our situation, we must use words. Words are only symbols that represent emotions and experiences that are soooo freakin old!  How can I define my feelings in words?

Well then, how can one explain what is happening to them?

Laughter is one good example.  With humor, we engage a more primitive part of our being and therefore, theoretically can bypass the Ego mind, perhaps.

Love is another.  When we engage our heart-center and truly act, without fear from this sacred place, we are free from other influences which inhibit truth and grace.  Love, above all is the gift of oneself.

Finally, time and space.  When I am able to just be free from commitments and away from the influences of friends, even though, they are helpful at some times, I feel as though I am free from all burdens.  As I sit in meditation, I realize the humility and grace I have for "God" {or that higher spiritual order to whom you may relate.  You don't have to call it God, it can be referred to by many names, but it's the Greater Energy Force beyond and behind Everything.} Humility is a bitter pill to swallow.  But, like most medications, the affect last long after the immediate discomfort.

I have no idea if what I've written tonight is of any value.  For me, however, the act of writing it was immediately rewarding.  The idea that maybe one person caught a glimmer from what I wrote is satisfying beyond measure.